In all honesty, I’m a terrible dancer….
On my own, I am hopeless on a dance floor. I get nervous, and don’t know what to do. I feel like anything I could even think of doing, could be a failure. Everything ends up being quite choppy and uncoordinated. I’m missing the details that make great dancing so beautiful.
Ever since I was the 6-yr old flower girl in my big brother’s wedding, I have loved dancing with my dad. He takes the lead, so all I have to do is follow. I just let him guide me on the steps and turns. When I dance with him, I feel graceful. The dance looks poise, beautiful, and purposeful.
I've come to see my life as a continual dance.
I can be very stubborn in life. I always ‘need’ to know what I’m doing, when I’m doing it, where I’m doing it, and why I’m doing it. If I’m involved in something, I like to know the details.
I’m constantly trying to look ahead… Trying to figure out the next steps of the dance before I’ve been taught them. I try to figure out what’s, when’s, where’s, and why’s of my life. I want to be the one controlling those things.
But I get so stressed when I try to figure out every aspect of my life… by myself. I get nervous and worried. I don’t know what to do. I start thinking that anything I do could be a failure. I miss the simple joys that make life beautiful.
I know the peace that comes from letting God take the lead. I’ve experienced the beauty, the joy, and the purposefulness that comes from following Him.
And yet, I often find myself trying to lead and determine my own steps…
But when I look at my life… my dance is choppy when I’m in control, it’s stressful and far from beautiful. It lacks peace.
I need to let God take the lead, for then my dance has purpose. It has beauty. It has grace. It has poise. I need to stay in step in with the Lead, and turn as He guides me… I need to let God take the lead.

What If.....

2 simple words....
....2 seemingly simple words....
........2 seemingly simple words that frequently have come out of my mouth....

What If...
In countless areas of life, these 2 words have begun many questions for me. Often, following the What if, comes the then...
What if (fill in the blank)? Then (fill in the blank).

In the Beth Moore Esther study that I'm going through right now, Beth talks about the "what if" question...

1) What if I choose a career I don't enjoy? Then I'd be depressed and would never want to go to work!
2) What if I get diagnosed with something terrible? Then I'd be devastated and life would lose some of its joy!
3) What if I don't get in to the college I want, or don't get good scholarships? Then, I'll have to go somewhere I really don't want to go, and can't enjoy..
4) What if "the right one" doesn't like me? Then I may be stuck an old maid... forever!

and the questions go on and on... we all ask different what ifs...

Beth Moore stresses that we need to give a new "then" to our "what ifs.."
No matter the "what if," God will still be good, and still be faithful...
We should answer our "what if this," with "then GOD.."

What if I make a bad decision? Then God is still faithful, and still good...

What if a relationship doesn't go the way I hoped? Then God is still faithful, and still good...

What if? Then God...

What if? Then God...

What if? Then God...

What if? Then God!!!

This was a huge encouragement for me!

We may fall on our knees sometimes in life, and not understand why things happen, but God is still good. When we're on our knees, we're in the perfect position to pray..

We all have fears. We've all asked What if.. It's not wrong to have fears...

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." ~Ambrose Redmoon

piles of sand

You're walking along a beach. You bend down, and scoop up a large pile of sand in your hands.. You loosen your fingers, until slowly, the sand begins to slip through your fingers, and falls back into the shore, to its source.....

So many times, I find myself unwilling to let the sand fall back in place. I won't loosen my fingers, I keep a tight grasp on what is not my own.

There are things that we all hold on to tightly. Things that don't necessarily make us happier, or make us better. But things that we are so attached to, that we're afraid to let go of. Afraid that letting go means losing a part of ourselves....

I've come to discover something about myself this past month. When I'm busy, I find it easy to let the sand slide through my fingers. As I run from one activity to another, it seems simple to let go of one handful of sand, and to go grab another. My mind becomes so preoccupied with the next activity, that it doesn't pain me to let the present one slip away. I don't even have to think about it.

However, I've realized that being busy has become a mask. A way for me to put my focus and energy on the tasks that are before me, and to take it off of the things that unsettle me. When my schedule slows down, and I am surrounded by quietness and stillness, I am not wearing a mask.

I have time to think, to process... sometimes too much time.

There are things, (lately something in particular,) that I need to let go of. Piles of sand that I need to let slide through my fingers, back to its source. When I'm running around crazy, doing what I do best, being busy, I actually make myself believe that I've let go, that I've moved on. I become too busy to notice the sand that still lies in my tightly clutched fist.

I came to the realization that I will never be able to let go of that sand, until I truly, sincerely want to. Even though I often wish I wasn't carrying around the sand, that means nothing unless I want to let it go.

By holding on to one pile of sand, I am unable to pick up another pile. I won't be able to enjoy the blessings that I presently have surrounding me if I hang on to the past.

So, that's where I stand... I'm on the beach, looking down at a fist full of sand. I'm loooking at the grains compiled of memories and longings...

I loosen my fingers, until slowly, the sand begins to slip through my fingers, and I watch it fall back onto the shore, to its source.

I loosen my grip, and let the memories and dreams fall into the hands of my Lord.

Now, I can walk the shore, with open hands, and fully enjoy the blessings that surround me..

The Way I See It....

Have you ever worn a red or blue pair of sunglasses, I suppose any pair of sunglasses works for this. It gives everything a different shade. When I was a child, I had a pair of red sunglasses. I loved putting them on, and then taking them off, putting them on, then taking them off.. just to see the effect that the color lenses had on my surroundings.

Lately I've let situations overwhelm me. I've let my hope sink into hopelessness, my excitement into dread. I realized that maybe I just have dark tinted glasses on, and that my reactions could be different if I decide to see things differently, to put on a different pair of sunglasses.

In psychology class last year, one of the things we talked about was how we react to situations. We can take a scenario and view it in one of two ways: we can see it as an opportunity, or we can see it as a threat. That's a choice that we can make about any scenario placed before us.

When we choose to view something as an opportunity, the rain can be seen as a place to dance, and the situation can be seen less like "just bad chance." Last year we learned that when we view a situation as an opportunity, we are more productive and optimistic when dealing with that situation. It's like the red sunglasses I had in elementary. A sunset turns a brilliant shades of orange, red and gold.

When we choose to view something as a threat, the rain just feels wet, and we are much more apt to fret. When we view something as a threat, it can become like a festering sore, that simply keeps growing and oozing. It's harder to move and make good of a situation if we view it as a threat. This reminds me of when I was in about second grade, and decided to be really cool and wear my sunglasses inside. Which made surroundings looked gloomy..

So as I face the challenges that are indubitably around the corner, I have a choice. I can wear my dark sunglasses and see the situation as a threat, or I can place my color-vivifying sunglasses upon my face and view the situations as an opportunity.

Footprints...

There's a poem, that I'm sure many of you have seen. It's called "Footprints in the Sand." This poem has always made me stop and think. As a refresher, the poem begins with the writer saying as we was walking along the beach with the Lord. As he was looking back on his life, sometimes he'd see 1 set of footprints, sometimes there would be 2: 1 belonging to him, the other to Jesus. However, as he continued this walk, he noticed that when it got the rockiest, when the path got the hardest, there was only 1 set of footprints in the sand. He cried out to God, and asked why He would abandon him when the walk got the hardest. Jesus replied by telling him the reason he only saw one set of footprints in the difficult times, was because that was when Jesus was carrying the man..

I love the picture this paints! In Christ, we have a constant companion through the journey of life. Through every celebration, and through every trial, we have Christ... how awesome is that!

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

There's another thing that footprints make me think of though too..

You know how when our feet are wet, we leave footprints as we walk places? I began to picture this as we live our lives.

In every place we go, in everything we do, we leave footprints. People take note of who we are, what we do. Impressions are made, legacies are laid. Even when we think nobody is watching, we leave our footprints.

As a new senior in highschool, this thought really hit me. This year, I have 13 grades of students who are younger than me. Who are looking up to me. As seniors, we're leaving footprints, making paths in the sand.. or in the snow, as we're in MN..

What footprints do I want people to see me make? what footprints am I leaving for people to follow? When I look back on my highschool days in the future, will I be happy with where my footprints have led me?

Everyday, we leave footprints. With everyone we come in contact with and everywhere we go, footprints are made. With every word we speak, a footprint is laid.